Asexuality means experiencing little or no sexual attraction to other people. It is a sexual orientation, not an illness. Low sexual desire does not automatically mean that someone is asexual.
Not feeling sexual desire can raise many questions. One common question is: Does this mean I am asexual? To understand the difference, it helps to distinguish between sexual attraction, sexual desire and physical arousal.
Sexual attraction is feeling sexually drawn to another person. Sexual desire is an interest in sexual activity and does not have to be directed towards anyone in particular. Physical arousal refers to the body’s physical responses. These experiences can occur together, but they do not have to.
Asexual people do not all have the same experiences. Some may experience physical arousal or a desire for sexual stimulation without feeling sexually attracted to others. Others have no interest in sex. An asexual person may also experience emotional closeness, romance or love. Some have sex for different reasons, such as closeness or curiosity, while others do not want to have sex at all.
Should I seek medical advice if I am asexual?
Asexuality itself is not a reason to seek medical care or have hormone tests. It is a sexual orientation that does not need to be investigated or treated.
If your sexual desire has changed and this worries you, or if you have other concerns, you can get support from CharlieCare or another healthcare provider. Together, you can talk about your experiences and what you would like help with. If there is reason to investigate possible medical causes, further evaluation may be needed.
How common is asexuality?
It is difficult to give an exact figure for how many people are asexual. Some people are unfamiliar with the term, and studies use different definitions. Population studies often estimate that around 1% of people identify as asexual or experience very little sexual attraction.
What is sexual attraction?
Sexual attraction can be described as feeling sexually drawn to a particular person. It is not always felt clearly in the body.
It is important to distinguish sexual attraction from sexual desire. Desire can change over time and be affected by many factors. Asexuality is primarily about how a person experiences sexual attraction to others.
Reduced desire is not the same as asexuality
A decrease in desire does not automatically mean that you are asexual. Stress, performance pressure, pain, medication and other circumstances can affect desire without saying anything about your sexual orientation.
At the same time, how someone experiences or describes their sexuality may change over time. You do not need to decide immediately which word fits you.
You decide how you want to define yourself
It is up to you whether you want to identify as asexual. Some people find comfort and recognition in the word; others do not. Both are equally valid.
Needs in relationships
Asexual people, like anyone else, may want intimacy, communication, trust, affirmation or love. Preferences for closeness and relationships vary. Some choose to live alone, while others live in relationships.
Common myths about asexuality
There are many misunderstandings about asexuality. Here are some common claims:
“Asexual people are traumatised or have problems.”
Asexuality is not a diagnosis and should not be explained as a result of trauma. An asexual person can, of course, have experiences or concerns they would like support with, just like anyone else.
“Asexual people cannot have relationships.”
Many asexual people have close and meaningful relationships, with or without sex.
“It will pass.”
Asexuality should not be dismissed as a phase. At the same time, it is okay if someone’s understanding of their sexuality or the words they use to describe it change over time.
“Asexual people do not want children.”
Asexuality does not determine whether someone wants children.
Sexuality looks different for different people, and asexuality is a natural part of human diversity!
Ninni Stålhammar, Auktoriserad Sexolog, Legitimerad barnmorska